


When Star Wars Got It All Wrong

by Kelkat9



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Dubious Science, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Kissing, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 00:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17477708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: The Doctor goes on a Star Wars rant and Rose is the planet’s only hope at watching the movie in peace.





	When Star Wars Got It All Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skyler10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyler10/gifts).



> For a tumblr prompt from skyler10fic :)
> 
> I know nothing about kyber crystals and this is all crack.

“Rose No, just look at it.” The Doctor aimed his sonic at the giant televisions screen, hitting the setting to pause the film.

“See that’s just not possible for a Jedha sourced Kyber crystal. The light saber is red and everyone knows that Jedha crystals don’t turn red.”  He jumped up off the sofa, annoyed to the point his eye twitched.

“Doctor, in this universe maybe they do.” Rose’s reasonable tone set him off more as she grabbed for his sonic.

“No,” he retorted. “The sub atomic structure would be the same.” He refused to admit any petulance as he protected his sonic from Rose’s attempt at distraction.  “Whoever wrote this rubbish clearly needs a lesson in interstellar geology.

“Give her the bloody sonic!”  A pillow bumped his back as Jackie directed a glare far more dangerous than any light sabre.

“But it’s wrong.  It wouldn’t be red.  We have to fix this travesty.”

“Mum, don’t.”  He jumped back as Rose valiantly moved between him and his irrational soon to be mother-in-law, a fact which both fascinated and horrified him.  “Why don’t you, Pete and Tony get snacks during our intermission.”

“It’s okay, Doctor,” Tony smiled.  “The other movies got it wrong too.”

“You mean the prequels?” A bitter taste coated his tongue acknowledging any movie where the vilest creature ever to exist, Jar Jar Binks was represented as some weirdly a clumsy, quasi lovable character. Ha, if they only knew the real thing would sooner sell their entrails to pay off his gambling debts. 

“Thanks, Tony,” Rose’s gritted teeth smile did not bode well for him.  Time to pull out the old Time Lord charm and woo her with science.

“You see Rose, Tony understands.  Kids pay attention to details. Luke first used his father’s sabre a kyber crystal which the Jedi counsel sourced from Jedha.  Later he built his own and used, ugh synthetic, thus the green color. Of course, there are other sources with variances. Kylo would have gotten his from Luke. The Sith clearly would have used a crystal more in tune with their telepathic connection to the Force.  Thus the red. Did I mention kyber crystals are comprised of organic and inorganic matter and are sentient. Not unlike my TARDIS coral. And—”

Rose sidled up just as he was getting into the juicy details and firmly and passionately distracted him.  With the snog of his life. Well, maybe not. That happened elsewhere but…his brain shorted out as she grabbed him by the lapels and yanked him down, her mouth smacked against his.

A few tongue teasing licks and his lips parted.  But then they always did for her. The subtle graze of teeth as she expertly teased him into a groan.  He did love a good tongue slide and how she tickled the side of his mouth in that one humany sensitive spot.

Knees buckled he fell onto the sofa, completely and utterly at her mercy. 

One stray thought.  Science seduction success.  Alliteration curled his toes as much her fingers tugged his hair as her lips glided across his mouth in the samba of snogs.  One pop as she pulled back, and he sighed.

She held up his sonic in triumph, a huge grin spilling across her face.

“But that’s…oh that’s just dirty.” He emphasized, tugging at the waistband of her jeans.

“No, Doctor.  That’s not dirty and if you want to find out what dirty really is.”  One brow arched at him with that tongue teasing smile and his trousers became unbearably tight.  “Just go with the film as it is and later on you can tell me how wrong it is in a game of Strip Star Wars Inaccuracies.”

“You know, that won’t take long given what I’ve seen—”

“Oi, we’re back,” Jackie announced loudly as Rose most egregiously slid off his hips and patted him on the shoulder.  One shuddering exhale and he righted himself on the sofa.

“Got it out of his system?” Pete asked munching on a crisp.  Tony handed a bag to Rose.

“Seriously?” Rose asked and shoved the bag at the Doctor who was sputtering and bouncing to respond.  Until Rose leaned over. “Star Wars Meta Strip.” Suddenly, he decided crisps were a good accompaniment to Pete’s World’s dodgy Star Wars franchise which by the look of things was going to work out very well for him tonight.


End file.
